How to unlock more in your career and life – the real cost of staying safe.

Being cosy comes at a price

Growth is a risky business. Get it wrong and you might find yourself experiencing failure, rejection or disappointment. But living in protection mode could be costing you a whole lot more in terms of your contentment, joy, prospects and relationships.

In this short article, I look at the potential impact of holding back and remaining comfortable as opposed to the risky road of reaching for the things you deeply care about.  If you’re feeling stuck in your life at the moment with a searing desire to unlock more, consider the price you’re paying – you may be giving up more than you realised.

The niggling feeling that won’t go away

Do you have a burning desire to unlock more in your life? This might look like a thirst for greater:

• Direction.
• Fulfilment.
• Influence.
• Balance.
• Job satisfaction.
• Time with your family.
• Health and well-being.

It’s different for everyone but what’s common is that it starts with an inner conviction, a glowing desire that refuses to die down. If you fan the flame by starting to imagine this future, it can even become exhilarating.

The flip side of this invigorating feeling is that it scares the life out of you. Panic can set in about how you’re going to get from where you are now to where you want to go: it seems impossible!! Overwhelmed like a rabbit in headlights, frustration can suddenly take hold.

If you want it so badly, why can’t you make it happen?

That’s when the comfort zone can seem like the easy option.

But is it? What is it costing you?

Has success taken its toll on you?

Reaching the top of her career, my client Stephanie felt frozen when she came to me.  Being put forward for partnership in her law firm, she realised she could have put her ladder up against the wrong wall. There was a gaping hole between what she genuinely wanted from life and what the role would offer her. 

Did she really want to invest any more of her time on this path?

‘Realising this gave me clarity, but it also made me feel stuck. Suddenly, I was desperate to change something, but I didn’t know where to start.’ she said.

She was stuck.

Does this sound familiar?

I found myself in a similar place recently

The last year has been one of radical transformation for me. Having experienced loss, grief and disappointment, I had to find the courage to face the pain and heartache.  In taking that risk  I’ve unearthed some unhealthy beliefs about myself, rooted out old stories that are no longer fit for purpose and I have seen the most unimaginable shifts happen in my life as a result.  

But more recently, I found myself shrinking back into my comfort zone.   Although it felt safe, and my life so much more controlled, I knew that I needed to face it head-on by asking deep, uncomfortable questions. I needed to challenge what I like to call my sofa-ry feeling. I knew from experience it was going to take some courage and energy to pull myself out of it.

And here’s what has emerged: I’m releasing the first episode of my new podcast: Unlock More, on Monday 9th January! I’m so excited and I feel like the process has reinvigorated me. The feeling is beyond anything I would have felt under a blanket on the sofa.

Calculating the cost of comfort

Here’s what I forgot: once you tot up the price of staying still you understand what you’re relinquishing or giving up. You know you’re worth more and it motivates you to break through the fear or indecision holding you back.

These are my top three questions for counting the cost of staying safe. How do they measure up for you?

1. What will happen further down the line if you don’t do something now?

Tell me, what will be the situation in six or twelve months if you don’t do anything? If you sit on this for too long, what will be the impact on your mental and physical health? What about your relationships?

In my experience, confidence takes the biggest blow, which then becomes a self-perpetuating problem. The less action you take, the less you feel like taking. You could find yourself in a downward spiral that will take more oomph to climb out of in the longer term.

2. What’s the price of comfort you’re paying now and who foots the bill?

You? Your family? The people who could be benefitting from what you do best?

You may be feeling:

• Unenthused – sluggish, unfocused and struggling with your self-worth.
• Fearful – of rocking the boat, paying bills or making mistakes.
• Like you’re pushing people you love away – by moaning or never seeming happy when you’re with them.

If so, it’s likely you’re frittering your energy away by going around and around in circles.

3. What opportunities are you missing out on?

Imagine if you summoned the courage to step out of your comfort zone, what would it feel like? What would it be like to experience success of your own design?

What would it be like to not experience this?

At the moment, all I can think about is what if my podcast takes off. I love working with experienced professionals, making life more satisfying and joyful for them and the teams in their care. What if by releasing the podcast, I get more coverage and I’m able to reach more people?

The thought thrills me.

But what if none of this happened? What if I never became a coach? What would I be letting slip through my fingers?

Over to you

What’s in the gap between where you are now and where you want to be? 

Fear? Uncertainty? Indecision?

Is it the time to:

• Rock the boat?
• Risk getting it wrong?
• Make yourself vulnerable?

Because this is the difference between being stuck and achieving the impossible.

If you know there’s something bigger out there, something you have to do that’s greater than the sum of your parts, then now’s the time to get up, leave the comfort blanket where it is and overstretch yourself.

And I know it sounds like too much at the moment but you don’t have to do this on your own. I know what it feels like, and I know what the pit of despair looks like. Helping others escape and thrive is what I love doing the most.

A few of my clients have been kind enough to share their stories on my website. I’d love you to check them out for a little inspiration. And of course, you can listen to the first episode of my podcast here, or search ‘Marianne Welsh Unlock More’ on your favourite podcast platform.