The liberating links between money, careers and unlocking more

How did an LA girl next door shift from a life of overwhelming debt to earning half a million dollars a year? All the while holding on to her values and improving life for others.

In this month’s podcast, I spoke to financial coach Michelle Tascoe about her journey and she had some surprising things to say on why we need to change how we think and talk about money.

Getting back in the driving seat of your life and your finances means bravely putting aside the squeamishness we have around money conversations. It’s not easy but change won’t happen until we do.

Michelle talks about how it’s about more than just the numbers. The process throws a spotlight on our desires, who has control over them and whether we’re prepared to get real about our situation.

So what’s the connection between finances,  the value of our unique gifts to the world and living life to the full?

Living someone else’s life

Have you ever found yourself feeling unsettled about the place you find yourself in life? You feel like the choices have been yours all along but you’re certain it’s not what you really want.

‘It’s easy to get into this kind of situation in LA,’ Michelle explains. ‘When we surround ourselves with people who influence us from a place of ego, from a place of vanity, we can agree to things that don’t make financial sense.’

With credit cards in collections and her beautiful car repossessed, Michelle found herself miserable, confused and near-defeated. This was the moment that she realised that there was a link between her uncertainty about what she really wanted from life and the sticky financial fix she found herself in.

Then having plotted her own way out, she set about helping others to do the same thing. This turned out to be the best decision she could have made.

When your mess becomes your message

What kind of accolades did Michelle have on her CV to launch into coaching? Where others would see a string of failures, she knew she had a position of strength and perception. And she knew from experience that she was good at listening.

‘By focusing on and sorting your finances when they’re in a mess, it leads to other breakthroughs.’ she says. ‘You start to establish links between people’s finances and their ability to fulfil their potential.’

Getting clear about what you want in terms of home, career and life goals as well as being generous to others enables you to get out of debt. It’s all interlinked.

It starts with clarity

You move on to clear decision-making only when you understand your identity and what you want. If you desire to own six houses, that’s OK but question what’s behind it because this kind of ambition borne of ego or materialism may not bring you the satisfaction that you’re looking for.

It’s no surprise that Michelle suggests an entirely different starting point.

‘We all have a blueprint, a way of being and when you’re clear with who you are and how you operate, then you’re so aligned and so authentic that anything you choose to do, there’s no friction, because you’re not fighting yourself’.

It’s easier to follow through on what you need to do to make change because you’re clear on the purpose – and the purpose belongs to you.

‘It’s not a perfect journey,’ she reflects ‘you’ll make mistakes but it’s OK to be messy.’

The role of self-trust

Then she drops the game-changing line. The key to it all.

‘We’re hard-wired to trust ourselves.’ Michelle says. She gives the example of being in the water in the middle of the ocean. We’ll do what we can to preserve our life, even in the face of extreme fear.

So we can trust ourselves not only to survive but to want more and to dream. When we believe this, we’re able to climb upwards and soar instead of falling into a downward spiral. We know that a lack of confidence to ask for and go for what we want comes from a lack of faith in our inner compass and our abilities to make it happen, so this makes perfect sense.

Without this assurance, it’s easy to fall back on the known – whether it’s a job we’ve outgrown, a lifestyle that’s no longer serving us or a habit that is harming our health, rather than facing the challenges of unpredictability.

Bringing self-trust to life

Self-trust in itself isn’t enough. We must wake it up and Michelle lists five ways to do this:

• Be consistent.
• Be diligent.
• Be responsible.
• Be organised.
• Be prepared.

To take these on and put them into action, we need to shift our mindset from:

• Scarcity to abundance.
• Reactive to proactive.

The interconnectedness we spoke about earlier, is just as relevant. Whether we’re talking about finances, career, home, relationships, health or communication with those around us, we know that the effort we put into being systematic and focused will bring rewards.

‘We’re able to follow through,’ Michelle explains, ‘we’re aligned in self-leadership.’

And finally, why the money conversation needs to happen

I ask Michelle about the first step on this ladder of self-trust.

‘Forgiveness.’ she says. ‘When you can say I forgive myself for when I’ve messed up and when I’ve promised things that I didn’t follow through on. Things like making a mess, debt, falling short and all of the mistakes.’

Debt is often surrounded with shame but she calls for an end to the condemnation – and no one is going to be harder on us than ourselves so we can choose to be our enemy or our friend.

She explains that by facing the reality of our situation, we’re able to take ownership, then stewardship and finally leadership over our journey. We give ourselves the hand-up we need, we get others in to help and eventually, we may go on to share what we’ve learned.

There’s no shame in talking about abundance and earning ambition either. Jim Rohn famously said ‘Become a millionaire not for the million dollars, but for what it will make of you to achieve it.’

When we level up, we also step up. For example, when we increase our rates, we’re motivated to provide even more value to our clients. There’s nothing dirty or unmentionable about this, it’s a simple reality that drives good in our lives, those of the people we work with and the world around us.

Michelle concludes by saying ‘We can’t forgive ourselves until we know what we’ve got to forgive ourselves for. We can take ownership and the next steps by shifting our attitudes.’

She also adds that we don’t have to be perfect today and that’s liberating. I agree with her.

We’ve more to unlock

As a financial life coach, Michelle has been featured on the Dr Phil Show and has worked with organisations like Vanity Fair, Warner Bros, Victoria’s Secret and Netflix as well as helping high-profile authors.

I feel like we’ve only scratched the surface so Michelle will be coming back to talk more about getting real and binning the shame, setting you free to excel at what you love. Stay tuned for details.