Is success standing in your way?

I know it seems like an odd thing to say but your success may be standing in the way of feeling true fulfilment in your life.

In this article, I explore some of the blockages that may stand in the way of living in sync with our deepest desires. I look at what we mean by significance and whether it’s a helpful term in determining what fills our own cup. Are there different kinds of significance and why should we care?

The missing element

Even when you’ve climbed to the top of the ladder, it’s possible to have a nagging feeling that you’re meant for more.

It’s possible to be successful and feel utterly lost.

In my case, reaching for my idea of success culminated in complete burnout that saw me quit my job and spend months in bed recovering. Thankfully an expert coach helped me to switch direction and make changes in my life that set me on the road to the balanced existence I have today.

But what do I have now that I didn’t have then? For me, there is one thing that stands out and it is this: meaning and fulfilment.

Meaning matters

When your relationships, your occupation and your day-to-day make sense to you, it takes away the abrasion that can rob you of your energy, passion and creativity.

And this is where the word significance can get a little tricky. It is possible to be on a mission to make the world a better place or meet a long-held goal but when you look around you may find that you’re not living according to your principles anymore. Something is off.

That’s because your journey may have been overshadowed by a need for external validation and it can suck you down the wrong path for you – even if your intentions are good. 

When you’re focusing on the things that truly matter to you, it feels naturally right, like you’re swimming with the tide. You have so much more to give.

The frustration comes when our success doesn’t deliver the type of satisfaction we’re looking for – or if it means we’re unable to work and live within our values.

I was at the top of my game and living well but I didn’t have the contentment and peace I have today. I certainly didn’t have a deep love of my job and the appreciation I have for watching my clients grow.

So reflecting back on my burnout and from conversations I’ve had with clients, I’ve pinpointed three barriers to satisfaction that come up time and again.

The hurdle of identity

In this world, we have become identified by our careers. If you don’t have that career anymore, how do you know who you are? It’s almost like the greater the success, the greater the burden.

When I burned out of my job I felt like I had no value. I thought my identity was my accomplishments and without them, I was very confused about my worth.

It goes deeper. Without your identity, it’s difficult to find a purpose. You become tied up in how others see you and what they expect from you. In effect, you live their purpose.

You perform for them and they say in Hollywood, you’re only as good as your last performance.

The obstacle of lack of clarity

Is it easier to go on living the lie because the alternative is too confusing to contemplate? How can you aim for success when you don’t know what it looks like for you?

I think the problem is sometimes firmly bound up with imposter syndrome. The I’m going to show them what I’m made of takes over. If your driver is proving yourself, you need other people for validation and the issues self-perpetuate.

Without a clear vision of what you want and what will fill you up, how can you chart a course out of the hole you’ve found yourself in?

The boulders of old habits

Chasing external approval can be defeating. Over time you can get less satisfied with the response and so the harder you try, the less satisfying the validation is. You reach for higher and greater levels of recognition, only for it to feel empty.

This is when it’s easy to become addicted to:

• Busyness.
• The hit of performance and adoration.
• Immediate gains.
• The rush.

But is it a short-term win at the cost of long-term contentment?

It can lead you to say yes to things that take a while to get out of or work that is no longer relevant or enjoyable. One yes can take months to unravel.

The move from success to meaningful significance

The good news is that it’s possible to get out of the groove, however well-worn it is.

• Start with clarity about what you want.
• Fill your passion pot and engage with that future. What does it look like, feel like and taste like? Touch it. The more appealing it is to you, the more likely you are to step into it.
• Fill your purpose pot because this will keep you going when you feel like you’ve lost your way, you’ve run out of energy or you’re tempted to go back to your old ways. Keep on track by keeping your why in view.
• Plan because this is the part that lifts your dream into reality. Intentional steps make the best use of your time and vitality but without the first three elements, this part won’t flow. That said, I’m going to go out on a limb here and sometimes I don’t think you need a plan. There are times in my life when haven’t and they’ve worked out. Clarity, passion and purpose solidify your intention – which is the heavy lifting done.

This is about exploring what inner success feels like – the genuine comfort and satisfaction that comes from knowing your values are guiding your next step. You can show up and be bold, confident that you’re making intentional choices and progress that makes deep sense to you.

Don’t do it alone

Even the smallest niggle inside could be trying to tell you something. What’s stopping you from answering it? If greater and greater success isn’t making it go away then perhaps it’s time to listen in. I can help you turn that tiny voice into reality. Who knows where it will lead you?

Simply drop me a line, and we’ll chat about it.