How to Keep Parents Happy When Changing Careers
Whether we realise it or not, our parents have a huge influence over our lives. And most of us have a deep desire to keep them happy.
When it comes to changing careers, one of the biggest blockers will be mum and dad, for they want for your survival and security — they’ll want you to stay put and earn.
But it is possible to keep your parents happy and follow your heart, if you apply these steps.
Step 1. Recognise where your parents are coming from.
Putting yourself in the shoes of your parents will help you to understand where they are coming from and how you can allay their fears.
For most parents (and you’ll know this if you are one), their greatest desires for their child is safety, security and happiness.
So, if you show up engulfed in fear and confusion and talk about a career move that could put your security at risk, your parents are unlikely to cheer you on. It is also more likely to feed the fears that you might already have. So, sharing every detail of your internal process at this point, may not serve either of you.
Take the time to recognise where your parents are coming from.
Step 2. Find what’s right for Y-O-U (note: this is a big step!).
Getting into the right career for Y-O-U will require you to get to grips with your own desires (not your parents, but yours!).
Assuming you have grown up with your parents, you will have spent a lot of time with them so you are very likely to hear their voices in your head. Taking some time to separate yourself from their beliefs and their opinions to find out what you want, is crucial.
There are lots of ways that you can do that: talking to people who are outside of your immediate situation; journaling your thoughts and feelings; reading books and articles from people in different situations to gain fresh viewpoints; sharing your process with trusted friends; or talking to people who have successfully changed careers.
Step 3. Then, go and talk to your parents.
Remember that your parents want you to be safe, secure and happy, so giving them confidence that they don’t need to worry about you is your number one goal!
Be wise about how much detail to give them about your process, and keep reassuring them throughout.
How Anna Chilled Out Her Parents
When Anna came to me, she was a frazzled senior executive in a global marketing company, who wanted to homeschool her two adopted children and set up a non-profit organisation to support other adoptive parents.
The pressure she felt from her high-achieving parents to stay in her job and prove her worth, was making her mind like ‘spaghetti’. Through coaching, she was able to separate her parent’s value system from what she valued. As her confidence grew in her own choice of path, it meant she could confidently communicate her process with her parents in a way that didn’t invite a debate.
She has now left her job, is homeschooling, has chilled-out grandparents for her kids, and feels like she is where she is meant to be.
Here’s the crux of handling your parents when making a big change
By understanding that your parents want you to be safe, secure and happy and responding appropriately, it is possible for you not only to find the confidence to make a big change, but also to have happy parents!
I’d like to ask you…
What has your experience with your parents been like when it has come to changing careers? What have you learned? What advice would you give?
What are some of the things your parents say or believe that might be stopping you from going after what you really want?
Use the comments section to share your thoughts.