How to clear the fog and take charge of your future.

When following the map gets you lost

It can be easy to feel like it’s all your fault. You’ve been a willing participant in your education and career choices, always doing the right thing and stepping up to the next rung of the ladder. So the fact that you’re feeling stuck now means there’s something wrong with you. Shouldn’t you be more appreciative that you have a job in the current climate?

Think again.

Like many high achievers I’ve worked with, a CEO who came to me for help had lost his bubble and smile. The hard work and application that had carried him through his academic career had powered him through to head up a successful business with all the advantages that came along with the position. 

His job was no longer exciting. He felt despondent; he was emotionally drained, withdrawn and felt like he was becoming a recluse. It was spilling over into his family life too.

Since engaging in coaching, Ben has an unprecedented appreciation of his value, as well as a deep connection with where he is going. This sense of purpose has given him the confidence to resign from his CEO role and navigate an exit that is a win-win for everyone. As a result, he’s been able to take a sabbatical and move countries, and is already being approached with new prospects. His health is on the up and he’s excited about his future. He says: 

‘I have not approached my career like this before. Things always came to me, I never said to myself these are the things I am looking for. I’ve learned how much I have been undervaluing myself at work and personally. In a desire not to come across as arrogant, I consciously or subconsciously downplayed my self-worth. My negotiations about my departure have been assisted by a better knowledge of what I bring to the table.’

Seeing through the fog

If you feel like you are walking through a pea soup fog, apprehensive and anxious about your next move, you are not alone. 

The closing throws of the pandemic have given way to an era of financial unpredictability and volatility that few of us were prepared for.

Changes in the way people work have left many leaders with little choice other than to put their own needs to one side whilst they struggle with workers in different locations, keeping up with schedules and completing client work on time despite workforce shortages.

Where has this left them? One survey found that 85% of managers felt they lacked confidence in the productivity of hybrid working, and 53% said that they were already burned out at work.

The human cost of constant pressure

A COO I spoke to recently shared that he has to put on his game face before going into the office. He said that he was on his knees, often spending the whole weekend in recovery mode before going back into the office on Monday to be depleted again.

This leaves little time and energy for his family, friends and doing things he enjoys. He felt that there was no opportunity to stop, take stock and see the wood for the trees.

I see this often: people who are frazzled, traumatised and in crisis. The pandemic is all but over, but many are fearful about what comes next and how they’re going to drum up the extra energy needed to meet it.

For those in leadership and c-suite positions, the added pressures of management make the issue worse. The resultant poor mental health spills over into physical illness, with significant human and business implications:

• High blood pressure.
• Lowered immunity.
• Loss of appetite.
• The effects of substance or alcohol misuse.
• Hair loss.
• Headaches and muscle pain.
• Fatigue and insomnia.
• In rare cases it can lead to suicide.

If you feel disconnected, like you’re going through the motions and unsure whether you want to be doing this any longer, then it’s time for a change.

What can you do?

Follow these steps to pierce through the fog of self-doubt

1. Reclaim your confidence

Most of the people I work with know deep down that they’re meant for more, but their lack of confidence gets in the way. Unhelpful thoughts and confusing emotions hold them back from living the life they truly want.

Whatever brave move you long to make, taking action takes courage and determination. But there are steps you can take to reduce the fear factor and increase a sense of adventure. 

Establishing your why is one of those.

Of course, there’s a case for taking the plunge, even if you’re scared. But this will feel safer and easier if you’ve first had a chance to really get a feel for what you would gain from the leap.

2. Reclaim your clarity

It’s too easy to lose our ability to articulate what we want.

How often are we told as children ‘I want doesn’t get’?  Slowly, our ability to articulate our needs gets hushed until it’s barely audible.

Fear of what’s around the corner, or of what other people think of us, can keep us on our toes but leaves little room for looking further into the future, fulfilling our dreams or making bigger-picture plans.

It’s time to nurture your wants and desires back to life.

3. Reclaim your value

Who are you and what are you about?  Why are you here?

When was the last time you asked yourself these questions and, more importantly, how much did you care about the answers? We’re all guilty of sinking into negative narratives at times, and the only way out is to be brutally honest and frank about how amazing our talents and abilities are.

Are those around you at work capable of seeing your value? If not, maybe you’re in the wrong place, or perhaps a lack of confidence is shadowing your brilliance.

There is no need to wait for the next big milestone or crossroads to make a change. If you feel like you’re trapped or you’ve lost your motivation, the time to stop, look around and take stock is now.

The energy you get from plugging back into joy

A business founder I worked with had taken her tiny streetside market stall to a well-known brand in a short period of time but now felt like she’d lost her connection with why she’d started out in the first place. She wasn’t able to see or enjoy her success anymore and seriously questioned her value in the business.

She was ready to pack it in.

Through our coaching sessions, she was able to reconnect with her vision and her value to the business, such that she was able to take the wheel again and enjoy the business she’d so lovingly built. Within 6 weeks of reconnecting with her worth, she had secured a contract with a well-known publisher for a book (due to be released at Christmas in the mainstream market) and is already opening new doors for collaboration with other trendy brands.

Don’t wait to make a change

Whether you’re on the fence about your career or confused by how you got to where you are now – even though you think you asked for it – don’t worry. Awareness is the first step.

Acknowledge what you’re feeling because doing so may lead you to where you need to go next.

Remember that:

• The first and biggest risk is to own and share what we want. Get that over with (with the right person) and you’re over the first hurdle.
• This involves being brave enough to be open but, in the words of Brené Brown, vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity. How else are you going to open up a space big enough to dream?
• You don’t have to do this alone. Being willing to ask for help means you value the process enough to get someone else onboard with you. They’ll celebrate the wins with you too – like no one else.

Where do you want to go? I wish you all the best in getting there.

If you’ve found yourself unwilling or unable to talk about your job outside of work then it’s likely you’ve lost the spark that once lit you up and fired your passion. Waiting for the right time to make a change may see you hanging around for the next ten years, feeling disappointed, despondent and eventually burned out.

There’s no time like the present, so contact me for a no-pressure chat and let’s blow the fog away to get you moving again.