From frazzled to fulfilled: how one exec stepped back to find her more

Hannah was at the top of her game. In just a few years she and her husband had built multimillion-dollar businesses between them. Eager to share her experience with others, Hannah was also an executive coach with Marshall Goldsmith.

Then motherhood happened and it changed everything.

I interview Hannah for the latest episode of my podcast Unlock More. We reflect on our work together to lift her out of the confusing place she found herself in. She knew something had to give but by facing down guilt, she was able to change her life in an uncompromising, brave and purposeful way.

I’ve picked out six game-changing shifts that fueled her journey. You may not be dealing with new parenthood but there are destabilising changes that happen to everyone, whether that’s a career t-junction, a new person in your life or you’ve lost touch with your passion.

Here’s her story.

One person with two jobs

Hannah was frazzled.

Within a short space of time, a son and daughter came along and though delighted with her new family, she found herself in crisis. What was her journey all about and where was she heading?

‘I’d satisfied the ambition to climb to the top of the corporate ladder and found oh wow! there’s not a lot there.’ she says.

It was an exhausting time too. ‘The problem with being a part-time executive and a part-time mum is that you’re full-time at both’ she adds.

She called into question what she wanted for the future of her family and her business. Her new role gave her a different perspective, legacy meant something completely different now.

So we took some time to get to the root of what mattered to her.

This is what we worked through together.

1. Dreams are important but not always what you think they are

‘We wrote a dream list’ Hannah says ‘and when we wrote a list of my top ten, there wasn’t very much about building a multinational business on it’.

Although she found her job intellectually satisfying, she knew that there was more. ‘It was a matter of what is going to be meaningful for me rather than a plaque on the wall.’ she comments.

2. Sometimes someone has to tell you to slow down

When things aren’t working and you need to make radical changes to survive and thrive, there is no alternative than to apply the brakes. It’s counterintuitive when there’s so much to do but without taking stock, you’ll run yourself into the ground.

Hannah was at breaking point but with two full-time roles to fulfil, how else could she feel other than inadequate? The task was too big for one person. The time had come to stop, take stock and get clear about the way forward. Reflecting back on that time, Hannah says that it was more about having the space to navigate her situation – the conclusion was less important.

3. Trust and follow the breadcrumbs 

Hannah was able to make an informed, intentional exit from her corporate life. She explains that it was more about exploring what she honestly wanted to do. There were deliberate decisions to be made but rather than getting locked into an idea of where she was going, she was curious about how the situation would evolve.

By asking ‘What is for me now in this season?’ she was able to work out what could be parked and picked up at another time – and what deserved her focus at the moment. ‘Parenting is one of these things where you don’t get to practice, there’s no trial run’ she says. She wanted to focus on this priority.

By putting an idea or a vision first, we’re able to follow the trail. It gives us faith that we’re heading in the right direction.

4. Shift the negative feelings in your way

Hannah was scared about leaving her corporate position. Conscious of the people she’d be letting down, she felt like she was irreplaceable. I come across this often and, surprisingly, at a time when people are burned out, disillusioned or at odds with their working culture it’s often other people that they worry about the most.

Through the work we did together, Hannah was able to take the step without feelings of regret ‘I left in a powerful rather than sheepish way’ she says. ‘It was a balancing act to make sure it was all done well and right for everyone’.

Rather than being driven by feelings of guilt or inadequacy, which can lead to poor decisions, she was able to deeply look at what she wanted and what mattered to her. These things lit the way.

5. Find your tribe

The breadcrumb trail led Hannah to her tribe or more precisely, the village that she wanted for her children. This involved moving from the place she’d lived for more than fifteen years into a community of like-minded people.

In Hannah’s case, this meant finding other parents who shared her values and beliefs on child rearing but it’s something we all need to remember. The strength of our convictions, dreams and desires can be so easily eroded or bolstered by those around us.

6. Have a game plan but adapt

‘I think a lot of people don’t really know what they want. They make choices based on what life hands them so they’re not being truly intentional with a long-term vision.’ Hannah reflects on her journey. ‘Life isn’t without challenges but you can move forward with intention’.

I find this so encouraging. That a clear, deliberately arrived-at vision has the potential to guide us over life’s hurdles and through the fears that naturally arise to a place that feels like home.

Hannah’s happy ending

I’m not sure it’s an ending, to be honest. ‘Take stock at regular intervals so you’re leading a life with real intention. So you don’t have regrets’ Hannah states and I wholeheartedly agree.

As she deals with shifting demands of motherhood I sense a deep feeling of satisfaction – and it’s something that comes from within. I ask her whether her chosen life has the same level of gratitude and recognition as her corporate one.

Unsurprisingly she answers ‘This kind of affirmation has to come from yourself.’

Thoughts and reflections

Throughout our discussion, Hannah makes it clear that her decisions were particular to her and I think this is important. Firstly because everyone’s situation is different and judgement isn’t helpful but also because the principles apply regardless of the challenge we’re facing. Whether it’s parenthood, career change or a crisis of confidence, it’s normal to experience tectonic shifts from time to time.

What matters is how we handle them.

Hannah made a massive leap and it’s not the choice that everyone would have made. We’re surrounded by stories about what we should be doing and why but in the end, we must pick which makes sense to us because otherwise, we’ll be living someone else’s life.

And what a waste that would be.

‘It wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be.’ Hannah replies when I ask her what she’s learned from the coaching process. I love hearing things like this because when you’ve sized up and faced down your fears, they’re not nearly as hairy in real life.

And it’s more than about overcoming fear – it’s also about exploring your dreams and breathing life into them. So what’s your more? I’d love to hear about it so drop me a message to organise a call today.

And don’t forget to check out the podcast episode. Make a cup of tea and search Marianne Welsh on your favourite platform.